Rowan, your delivery of a life altering episode is one of the most heart warming accounts I have ever read. Like a consummate story teller, you lead the journey up the hill, tension all the way, then an all encompassing storm, physical and emotional. Then the aftermath, the heartbreak of a loss you carry deeply, and the reminder you will carry forever. Thank you for sharing.
To read these words from your private archive of intimate memories, is an honour. Thank you for sharing. The adoration of the body is beyond words. Having found your writings i no longer view a body as a mechanical being. 38 years nursing may have contributed, but I now feel the emotion, the desire and hunger of it all. To have lost yet still hold such evocative feelings with rain and those mountains is truly wonderful.x
I do the chores naked and in order. I fallow the strict schedule that anal-retentative, Master Jake dictated. I make His favorite foods. I buy his favorite wines (non of that over-priced, fancy-schmancy shit!), I keep light, spiced, Captain Morgan Rum on hand for him, though cancer took Him. I no longer wear underwear, panties, as He called them. I still cry missing Master. No Man shall ever compare to Him, Master Jacob.
Steve, your words carry such depth and devotion. I can feel the love, the discipline, and the longing for Master Jacob in every line. The way you honour him, in the routines, the tastes, the rules you still keep, is a testament to the bond you shared.
Loss leaves spaces that can never truly be filled, but it also leaves echoes, habits, and moments that keep them close. Thank you for trusting me, and all of us here, with such an intimate part of your story.
I hadn't talked about Him until recently, reading these stories, seeing the images. I found myself no longer able to suppress the memories. It hurts less.
Rowan’s compassion and control of writing make him the most endearing writer I have read. This moment in time is permanently etched in his soul but he brought it to life, making the loss of his bf so much sharper. But we have the bf to thank for helping build Rowan into the outstanding man he is today. I was in the Blue Mountains last month. They are breathtaking, and well worth the visit. RIP.
I can smell the wet earth, the rich tilth - you describe the change from hot weather to cold rain perfectly. Even in the tropics, the downpours can be quite chilling. Always better to have a warm buddy close by.
My heart rejoices when I hear from you Rowan. I am a man with a colourful past (you’ll need sunglasses). I have lusted after men, and occasionally women. I am still learning, and have found a wonderful tutor in you. As my name implies, I am a rock (rock solid too as I write this).
Peter, thank you for reading this with such heart. I actually uncovered this piece recently and felt compelled to share it. Writing it again brought the rain, the ground, the taste of that day back in full force, and with it, the ache of losing Kurt.
You’re right, he shaped so much of the man I became, and I carry that with me. The Blue Mountains are magic, and knowing you’ve walked them too makes sharing this all the more meaningful.
Beautiful
Rowan, your delivery of a life altering episode is one of the most heart warming accounts I have ever read. Like a consummate story teller, you lead the journey up the hill, tension all the way, then an all encompassing storm, physical and emotional. Then the aftermath, the heartbreak of a loss you carry deeply, and the reminder you will carry forever. Thank you for sharing.
To read these words from your private archive of intimate memories, is an honour. Thank you for sharing. The adoration of the body is beyond words. Having found your writings i no longer view a body as a mechanical being. 38 years nursing may have contributed, but I now feel the emotion, the desire and hunger of it all. To have lost yet still hold such evocative feelings with rain and those mountains is truly wonderful.x
I do the chores naked and in order. I fallow the strict schedule that anal-retentative, Master Jake dictated. I make His favorite foods. I buy his favorite wines (non of that over-priced, fancy-schmancy shit!), I keep light, spiced, Captain Morgan Rum on hand for him, though cancer took Him. I no longer wear underwear, panties, as He called them. I still cry missing Master. No Man shall ever compare to Him, Master Jacob.
Steve, your words carry such depth and devotion. I can feel the love, the discipline, and the longing for Master Jacob in every line. The way you honour him, in the routines, the tastes, the rules you still keep, is a testament to the bond you shared.
Loss leaves spaces that can never truly be filled, but it also leaves echoes, habits, and moments that keep them close. Thank you for trusting me, and all of us here, with such an intimate part of your story.
Love,
Rowan
I hadn't talked about Him until recently, reading these stories, seeing the images. I found myself no longer able to suppress the memories. It hurts less.
Rowan’s compassion and control of writing make him the most endearing writer I have read. This moment in time is permanently etched in his soul but he brought it to life, making the loss of his bf so much sharper. But we have the bf to thank for helping build Rowan into the outstanding man he is today. I was in the Blue Mountains last month. They are breathtaking, and well worth the visit. RIP.
I can smell the wet earth, the rich tilth - you describe the change from hot weather to cold rain perfectly. Even in the tropics, the downpours can be quite chilling. Always better to have a warm buddy close by.
My heart rejoices when I hear from you Rowan. I am a man with a colourful past (you’ll need sunglasses). I have lusted after men, and occasionally women. I am still learning, and have found a wonderful tutor in you. As my name implies, I am a rock (rock solid too as I write this).
Peter, thank you for reading this with such heart. I actually uncovered this piece recently and felt compelled to share it. Writing it again brought the rain, the ground, the taste of that day back in full force, and with it, the ache of losing Kurt.
You’re right, he shaped so much of the man I became, and I carry that with me. The Blue Mountains are magic, and knowing you’ve walked them too makes sharing this all the more meaningful.
Love,
Rowan